171: Why High-Performing Men Snap at Home (And How to Stop the Explode Shutdown Cycle)

Growth Over Easy: No‑BS Guidance for Long‑Term Relationships

0:00

-11:14

171: Why High-Performing Men Snap at Home (And How to Stop the Explode Shutdown Cycle)

Lilly Rachels

Feb 03, 2026

In this episode, Lilly breaks down the Explode Shutdown Cycle: chronic activation → trigger → explosion → guilt → shutdown → repeat.

She’ll explain why willpower and communication skills can’t fix this, and what actually works: training your nervous system to expand capacity and move fluidly between activation and safety.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

What the Explode Shutdown Cycle is and why it keeps repeating
The nervous system science behind chronic activation, explosion, guilt, and shutdown
Why you’re a “high-functioning survivalist” (like a high-functioning alcoholic—you keep it together, but at a cost)
Why willpower and communication skills can’t fix a maxed-out nervous system
The difference between sympathetic overdrive (activation) and ventral vagal (safety, connection, rest)
Why small triggers at home (mess, requests, interruptions) feel like threats when you’re already maxed out
How to train your nervous system to expand capacity and stay present under pressure
The three phases to break the cycle (outlined in the free field guide)
Why this is not a personality flaw—it’s a trainable nervous system response