You Can Be Right, or You Can Be Married
One truth, one thought, one tactic for a healthier relationship & nervous system
Each week, 3T is one truth, one thought, and one tactic to help you stay connected when things get hard.
TRUTH
Winning the fight can cost you the relationship. You get your point across. You have the last word. But it comes at the expense of losing her. The only thing that grows when you fight to be right is the resentment she carries toward you. You can be right, or you can be married.
To move away from this losing strategy, you have to address the fight response in your nervous system. When your body is in survival mode, connection is impossible. A grounded, flexible nervous system is essential for a long-term intimate relationship.
THOUGHT
“Objective reality has no place in personal relationships.” -Terry Real
(There is no “winning” in relationships, only repair or rupture.)
TACTIC
Next time you feel yourself ready to fight:
Press your feet into the ground. Feel the floor. This signals your nervous system: I’m here. I’m not in danger.
Take one slow breath—4 seconds in, 6 seconds out.
Say this out loud: “Give me a second. I’m here, I just need a moment.”
That’s it. You’re not fixing the whole conversation in that moment. You’re just staying online.
If you're tired of snapping over small things and then shutting down, feeling like a failure at the one thing that should come naturally, this is what I do. I train your nervous system so you can catch it before it starts. Book your strategy call.