Rethinking the "Easy" Relationship Narrative
Wednesday Wisdom
In the world of instant gratification—where next-day deliveries, fast food, and quick fixes reign supreme—it's tempting to adopt the notion that relationships should be easy too.
Many suggest that if a relationship is right, it should be effortless. I once shared this view, believing compatibility meant seamless coexistence without conflict or effort.
I no longer see it this way.
Just because something is easy, doesn’t make it good:
Fast food is easy
Sleeping in is easy
Having another drink is easy.
Sweeping issues under the rug is easy.
Hitting snooze is easy.
Losing your temper is easy.
Telling a lie is easy.
Being broke is easy.
The good stuff in life requires dedication and consistency. You show up and put in the reps, it’s not easy.
Relationships aren't about coasting through life without challenges; they're about growing through challenges together.
The idea of an easy relationship is appealing because it promises comfort without confrontation. If we were all perfect, this might be possible, last I checked - we aren’t.
Each of us enters into relationships with various wounds and challenges.
Growth Over Comfort
When you work out, your muscles grow through stress and recovery, growth in relationships comes from navigating challenges—communicating through disagreements, supporting each other through tough times, and encouraging each other to achieve individual and mutual goals.
I think growth is a crucial component of any fulfilling relationship. If a relationship isn't challenging you, it might not be encouraging you to grow either.
Flow vs. Ease
It's important to differentiate between a relationship being "easy" and having a "flow." A healthy relationship will have a flow, making interactions feel more synchronized, but it doesn't bypass the need for deep introspection and mutual effort.
Achieving flow requires work—work on ourselves, our communication, and our understanding of each other.
Maintaining that healthy flow requires a deep dive into self-awareness and dedication to continuous growth.
It involves asking hard questions about our wants, needs, and behaviors. It's about being honest with ourselves and our partners, even when it's uncomfortable. This kind of work is far from easy, but it's incredibly rewarding.
Instead of looking for an easy relationship, cultivate a relationship where growth is prioritized. I promise it will be more fulfilling.
If you are ready to grow I invite you to apply for my private 1:1 experience of Relationship Repair Kit. Whether you are single or coupled, we will dive into your life using my Blueprint Awareness Method to address the patterns that keep you from deeply connecting and building a healthy flow-filled relationship.
»Email me at lilly@lillyrachels.com to apply.
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