Reclaiming Your Emotional Balance

A Somatic Approach to Breaking Emotional Loops

Have you ever had an interaction with someone that left you feeling overwhelmed? Maybe you experienced frustration, anger, jealousy, guilt. And you began to ruminate on the emotion.

I recently found myself in one of these situations. An interaction with someone left me feeling like I had knots in my stomach, I felt sick, and I was distressed. I didn't like how the interaction went, and I struggled to put my feelings into words. So today, I want to take you through the steps I took to navigate the overwhelming emotions and find my way back to a place of peace and emotional regulation.

The thing about an emotion is it typically lasts 90 seconds. If you find yourself stuck in an emotion for longer than that, it's because your mind has taken over, creating a story around it. And that's exactly what happened to me in this particular situation.

After that interaction, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I discussed it with my boyfriend that night, and it even haunted my thoughts the next morning. I was creating a huge story around it. So the emotion continued to loop in my body.

So, what do you do when you're stuck in this emotional loop? I'm sure I'm not the only one who has experienced this, and I work with clients who deal with the same issues. Here's what I did to break the pattern and stop myself from spinning a never-ending story.

I took some time to do a somatic check-in.

It's a simple practice that can help you reconnect with your body and emotions.

I went to a quiet room, shut the door, sat down comfortably, and closed my eyes. I took a few deep breaths and focused on my body.

I started by paying attention to the physical sensations in my body without naming the emotions just yet. I observed what I was feeling. For me, it was a tightness in my stomach, like there was a knot inside. I felt tension in my throat. I said these sensations out loud, giving them a voice. "I feel tension in my stomach. I feel knots in my stomach. I feel nervousness in my stomach. I feel tightness in my throat."

And then, as words came to mind, I started naming the emotions related to those sensations. "I feel guilt in my stomach. I feel stress in my stomach. I feel sadness in my stomach." As I held space for the emotion to run its course and recognized the physical feeling in my body the tension started to dissipate. The emotions started to fade away because I was giving myself space to feel that initial 90-second loop of emotion that I didn't let myself experience when I was busy constructing a story in my head.

Once I was able to allow my body to feel and experience the emotions, the stimulus lost its power over me. I opened my eyes, took a few more breaths, and felt relief. The situation had passed, but I had been carrying the emotional baggage because I got stuck in the loop of my story about the experience.

If you find yourself struggling with overwhelming emotions – whether it's sadness, frustration, anger, jealousy, hurt, etc. – I encourage you to give this practice a try. Find a quiet space, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and notice what you feel in your body. Say it out loud, and name the emotions, but always remember not to identify yourself with the emotion. Instead of saying, "I am sad," say, "I feel sad." Emotions are visitors passing through, not your identity.

I often teach this technique to my clients when working on their communication and relationships. When you've truly felt and processed your emotions, they won't erupt in a charged way when you're talking to your partner. Processing your emotions allows you to communicate more effectively and authentically.

So, the next time you find yourself caught in a whirlwind of emotions, give this somatic check-in a go. It might just be the key to finding your way back to peace and emotional balance. And if you do try it, please let me know how it works for you. I'd love to hear your experiences. Remember, emotions are meant to be felt and acknowledged, not suppressed or ignored.

If you want to improve your relational communication, I’d love to send you my Free Guide: 7 Keys to Healthy Communication. Comment below or email me at lilly@lillyrachels.com and I’ll get you the link.