How to Communicate with Intention in Your Relationship
Wednesday Wisdom
Recently a friend showed me a message he wanted to send to someone and asked what I thought about it.
The message was harsh and reading it left me thinking “Ouch” on behalf of the soul who may receive it.
“That depends,” I said, “what’s your goal?”
He looked confused so I elaborated with more questions…
“Is your goal to make a point, to hurt, to heal…?”
What came out was my friend had typed the message out of irritation. He had wanted to make a point. But when I asked again, “What’s your goal?” encouraging him to play the situation out on a longer timeline - he realized the ultimate goal was to heal the issue.
“Then don’t send that message,” I said.
“What’s your goal?”
I love asking myself (and my clients) this question.
Because the goal determines the action.
Being intentional in your communication keeps you honest and accountable for regulating your emotions. Feel them, but don’t act out them.
When it comes to communication a lack of intention can turn a conversation into a conflict.
I get it, it’s easy to let something slip in the heat of the moment.
It feels good to get the jab in and make a point.
But that “good” feeling is temporary, followed by the stinging regret of hurting someone you love.
Pausing before speaking (or hitting send) and asking yourself “What’s my goal” stops you from acting out of emotion.
It creates space for your higher self to catch up with your ego and play out the tape long-term.
In the short term allowing your ego to lead may feel liberating, but pacifying your ego is a dangerous habit that ultimately leads to broken relationships.
Instead, slow down and ask yourself “What’s my goal”.
Play out the tape long-term and take action with intention.
Is your relationship with your partner tense? Does she act more like your unpleased mother than your lover?
It doesn’t have to stay that way.
Warning! Learning to communicate with clarity and lead your relationship with love will bring more intimacy and joy to your life.
If you want that, email me at lilly@lillyrachels.com to book a free coaching session to help you move from conflict to connection with your partner.
Great relationships don’t just happen, they are created.