Heal Your Relationships by Overcoming Childhood Patterns

No more self-sabotage

In this article, discover how childhood beliefs can undermine your relationships and learn practical steps to break free from self-sabotage. Start building deeper, more supportive connections today.

It’s all my fault.

I can’t remember how young I was when I first had that thought, but it was well before I hit double digits.

This internalized belief became the source of my overthinking for the next few decades.

Mom was unhappy—it must be my fault.

Parents are fighting—it must be about me.

As I got older, the pattern expanded to other relationships.

My best friend didn't call—I must have done something wrong.

He didn’t answer my text—he must be mad at me.

My mind was a boxing ring, and anxiety was winning.

The pattern became more apparent in my 20s when I found myself sabotaging relationships due to my overthinking and hypervigilant concern about being the problem.

As self-fulfilling prophecies go… I made myself the problem.

If I had a dollar for every time I asked a partner, “Are you happy?” or “Are you mad at me?” I’d be sipping Dom on a beach right now.

Too many fights began, and too many tears were shed over a false belief.

A pattern that kept me from real intimacy and security for years.

Thankfully, the story didn’t end with mere awareness of my problem—I got to work healing it.

The first step was unpacking where the pattern I had been cycling through began. Unearthing the root cause allowed me to address the false belief and break the pattern.

I’m not special—we all do it. We have experiences in childhood where we develop beliefs about ourselves and others, forming patterns of protection that keep us from connection in relationships.

The good news is, you can break those patterns and create deep connections in your life.

This is the work I guide clients through in my Blueprint Awareness Method.

I'd love to support you in removing the patterns keeping you from experiencing love and support. DM me or email me at lilly@lillyrachels.com to book a free consultation.