6 Ways to Support a Grieving Loved One
Wednesday Wisdom
Finding the “right” words to say when someone is grieving is nearly impossible.
Because nothing you say will take away your loved one’s pain… that’s ok.
The pain they feel is theirs to experience - not yours to take.
Instead of trying to make them feel better, make them aware of your support.
Below are 6 ways to support a grieving loved one…
Reach Out and Reach Out Again:
When a crisis happens, people rise to the occasion they call/text/visit. Initially, the griever is flooded with help, but as the weeks go on that eager support diminishes as people return to their respective lives. The griever is left alone as they continue to mourn their loss and try to put their life back together. This time is crucial. Keep reaching out, you may be the only one still doing it.
Hold Space:
It’s normal to want to make your loved one “feel better“. But that’s not helpful. Being present while your loved one processes uncomfortable emotions is the kindest thing you can do. Allow them to FEEL without trying to change it.
Don't Take It Personally:
If your loved one doesn't call you back or take you up on your offer for support, it's not about you, it's about their loss. Offer them grace during this period of transition.
Be Proactive:
Most people ask “What do you need? But your loved one may not know what they need. Just do. Make the dinner and say “I made your favorite dish, can I drop it off today or tomorrow.” or “I’ll go let your dog out.” Be proactive, and when you do need to ask questions make them simple to answer. Yes or no and this or that. Open-ended questions can feel overwhelming.
Ask About "IT":
Don't avoid the topic of the loss for fear of reminding your loved one about it. Don't be afraid to ask or check in on them. They are thinking about it all the time. It's more painful when they feel like you are tip-toeing around them. If you think of them and their loss, check in.
Fill Your Cup First:
Supporting someone through a loss is not easy. Don't forget to take care of yourself. You cannot serve anyone when you are depleted. Getting adequate sleep, nourishment, movement, and time to ground is vital. Being a supporter is intense work, don't sacrifice your health to keep others afloat.
If you need support please book a Virtual Coffee with me.
You don’t have to go through this alone.